Einstein’s sausage recipe destroys Ikea’s team puzzled by the absence of Ibrahimovic

WWhen you speak about Germany, most of what you can think of is analogies from Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz with Neuer, Ozil, Kroos, or if you want to take it to an extravagant level, you can compare “Mr. Robocop I am the player with most injuries in the history of football” with emission cheating company Volkswagen.
Unable to display a team unity with the same values as the World Cup winning squad, they can count on the 1500 varieties of sausages they produce, at least something to be proud of. Joachim Low’s recipes from self-made and eat own proteins appears to be in line with his shaped Karl Marx philosophies towards football and communism.
No Leroy Sane, no fun…

1. Sane’s omission came as the biggest shock of all national rosters, concerned with the lack of commitment of the best young player in the Premier League with 14 goals and many more assists, apart from his technical flair which is not only unmatched as it is inexistent in the current squad. But there’s always room for Hollywood’s artificial intelligence’s – The Mr. Robocop, and because he scored today a goal after relegating to the bench Ozil, one of the best midfielders in the past decades with infinite assists in both club & national team, that’s ok… Leroy Sane was told be cocky and arrogant, something that is well unheard of when we speak about Joachim Low. One more sausage with bread and beer, please? Check

2. Better late, than never – That’s how it finishes the sensational poem of Toni Kroos, one of the jewels of Real Madrid + National Team of Germany which speaks about the inexistence of love without pain and clearly is fond of dramatic ends as long as they represent victory.
   Bend it like Beckham, Bend it like Kroos, the Spice boy of Germany.
   Where the hell is Zlatan Ibrahimovic?
   Is Henrik Larsson coming out of retirement?
   Could we be inspired for a second by Gunnar Gren, Gunnar Nordahl, Nils Liedholm, Kurt Hamrin or simply have an haircut and sexy body like Fredik Ljunberg?

   Is there not sufficient evidence in all sports and activities that without an inspiring leader there’s no path down the road and that the time runs short in terms of potential success without a cohesive team? If football was about one player, Argentina would be world’s champion, but when a set of individualities bound to achieve success they will inspire the full squad boosting their opportunities of accomplishments.

3. Sweden played more than once with one more man than Germany, whether it was due to injury or due to disciplinary action, but still managed to concede a goal with 11 man inside of the box, small box, or even almost between the posts. That’s what we call success!
   Even Jesus was watching Germany-Sweden on his new instagram and tagged in a post his apostles - Those who do not believe in miracles, throw the first stone…
4. And Joachim Low’s first nose-pick always came before Germany’s equalizing goal. Perhaps that’s where the miracles come from…Or maybe he had a magic spell over the referee and partners who were the only ones not to spot a clearer penalty than water in a wrestling ring – tag team match – Neuer & Boateng vs Marcus Berg and the ghost of Ibrahimovic …Once again, we have a clue for that… Germany has Mr. Robocop, therefore he overwrites any decision taken by the VAR, so no problem here!

5. First it was the Homo erectus "inventing" the fire and then the invention of the wheel, there was the night and there was the day and later, only later came the greatest historical event for Germany, the Toni Kroos’s goal at the 95th minute – The espionage method of Kroos that with one shot was able to break the hearts of all Swedish people, all but Ibrahimovic’s…

   "I came like a king, left like a legend."

6. Germany 2-1 Sweden
   (M Reus '48 | T Kroos '95 ; O Toivonen '32)